Land of the Lost

It amazes me how some of the smallest thing will compel me to write. I seen some crazy shit this morning. I was in line at the gas station ( I'm always in line somewhere) and  here's the scenario. There's a white lady first, black man construction worker I think and me. Now he's straight up sweatin this lady in line with these corny ass lines and I don't think he noticed me when I came in. She doesn't even smile at his ass and leaves, he steps up and pays for his stuff, turns to leave and turns up his nose at the kid!! Now mind y'all I ain't said one word and smiled like I do to everyone, but he was pre-disgusted with me. Which raised a question in my head : Why do black men who prefer white women hate us so much?

First off , Your preference is that , I have no issue with interracial dating or marriage my sister and closest friend are in those types of unions, but why act as if black women are the scum of the earth because they are not your cup of coffee with no creme....? This saddens me because skin color has nothing to do with how good someone loves you. Skin color doesn't determine the quality of woman, the woman does. There is a fine line between not preferring something and hating it. I have seen this behavior from a lot of black men that choose white ladies and its super intriguing.

I can't stand race issues, but I've seen this several times and just wonder "Why?" what have we done to you so bad that you can't love us the way we love y'all? I will never forget the time my Ex cheated on me.. in my bed with a white woman and told me it was because he didn't like the way our skin looked together anymore, and that he would never ever date another black bitch after me! Talk about scorned! That altered my outlook on black men that chose the other white meat, but not enough to hate the real kings.

I wrote this to say, Black men we are not your enemies. All of the societal stigmas and stereotypes about us are not all true... We cater... we respect... we love... and we value... Just because you haven't found the one to do all these things doesn't mean a cocoa queen can't give it to you, and don't think all white women wait on y'all hand and foot and don't have "attitude problems"... A woman is a woman is a woman. but don't behave like you forgot that black women are Queens and not to be treated as peasants.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Metamorphic

I used to think that change was something that everyone wanted and strives for. Unfortunately that is so far from the truth. So many people live in the "what was" instead of the "what is" , simply because its already been seen. I know so many complacent people and so many optimistic people and the mind-set difference is just wanting to do what hasn't been done. I am an admittedly creature of habit , but I know that in order to prevail I have to do uncomfortable and scary shit. A caterpillar has never been afraid to be a butterfly.

You have to be a tree, stay rooted and grounded but change those leaves. Its so necessary to tapping into your potential and applying knowledge to areas in your life that need improvement. (We all need it) To truly understand what it means to be human is taking advantage of time not truly appreciated. We spend so much time doubting ourselves and not being who we want in fear of punishment from people that are living the exact same borrowed time. Lions are only concerned with tigers if their is a threat to them. Exerting only energy needed to keep his pride and everything in it secure. Be a lion.

You have to want to become something better than what you are. I know a lot of people think that they are exactly where they want to be, and that's not true for anyone breathing. There is no way to perfect being a human, there is just not enough time, but you can be great in life if you posses the true  your growth gene, which is fearlessness. Its only with that can you be what others are scared to be or oblivious to the fact that they can be; Whatever they want to be.

Be conscious and aware of your growth as a human, be aware of the time. Be aware of your surroundings and how they affect you. Be mindful of where you plant your tree. Be selective about who is in your pride, and never be scared to be a butterfly....

Arrhythmia

Its funny how things go. I swear I know how to get around my city, and last night when my GPS was spazzin and I couldn't find Latitude 39 by sight (and wouldn't have had I not restarted my phone) I got super frustrated because I was on a mission to get some audiodope. I went the wrong way twice. I found it after saying I was just gonna go back home, but I had to be there, for my homie AMH and myself. I have been to open mics and poetry slams before but when I walked in here something was different.

 The air was light and fresh but the content floating in the air was heavy. I seen so many familiar faces greeted them all with smiles and hugs. Wait a minute I thought " I'm at home, I know almost all of these people and I have for years." Everyone there was an artist in some form or an art lover in the only form. I stood in the back and watched people file in greeted more kindred family and immediately got mad at myself for not finishing my piece to perform, eventhough I probably would pass out when I got on stage...lol...

Facebook friends that I didnt know were going to be there performed,  Krystal Tibbs Ahmad Rahsan Lisa Devon G ,  Comedian Jay Scott ,Tiffany Nichole brought some hot shit ,Amani Tre Niner dropped a gem and Miss Gabby.... Miss Gabby brought an uprising over the crowd with her colossal deliverance of sidepiece 101. There were singers and comedians and even a trumpet player. I was kind of upset that I only paid fiv bones to get in because it was truly a mind massage, and heart palpitating evening. 

 Now I had a lot of people asking me if I was going to do something,  and as bad as I wanted to get up there I just have to grow some balls first! I have never actually tried now that I think of it so I'm definitely going to give it a whirl. I love being a spectator and playing the background but It may be time to let people see yet another side of me. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

To the Beat

Have you ever felt an energy so strong amongst a group of strangers so strong you felt as if you've met these people in a previous life? "No" ok well that's how I felt outside of the Vogue Saturday night for a head to head battle of the beats...literally. About fifty of us waited outside some spectators and some producers, but we were all there for a common reason : The love of music... I've been a music head ever since my mom used to throw impromptu basement parties in the projects laced with  LL Cool J and Public Enemy. I didn't understand the words at the time but, the first time I heard "Bad" I was in love.

Producers provide the canvas and artists get the paintbrush, but at this particular event only the canvas was being judged, a first experience for me but I was geeked. Most of the local artists I'm used to seeing out were there, lots of girls in short skirts, Unique faces and just an all around blend of straight music lovers. The atmosphere was just so dope.

The opening act came out and belted out a colossal tyrannosaurus rex roar , to warm us up performed some hot shit and  then the emcee got down to business. The producers took turns going trumpets and samples  to  snares and bassline for about ten minutes before judges quickly decided who was advancing  and who had to go back to the lab. I liked this type of bracket choosing because I don't favor sports but it was easy for me to pick the winner here, where I knew something about the "sport"

The night went on with catchy pop style beats and conscious "Ab-Soul'ish" type beats. With each spin  the tracks were getting more dynamic, they were breaking out the big guns! Ultimately the mad scientist looking producer MenDog, I had picked in round one took the crown. I loved the energy, the sportsmanship and the overall experience of seeing passion on display like that, that was my first and wont be my last battle of the beats.

Gold Bird

The Detox

In order for love to grow it has to first be planted. I see and feel so much its almost like a curse, I can see the hurt , pain and misunderstanding in people's eyes. Its my "superpower". What this world is severely lacking is love, and not the kind you think you know. Real love requires compassion and understanding of differences but still being accepting. People don't and cant have that because of ridiculous things that divide us. When you sow a seed of hate and constant turmoil, your garden can't grow and be fruitful. Your garden is your heart.

The cloud of heartache looming over this world of confusion , division and hatred for people dying to live is something I didn't think I'd ever have to experience. You would think after all these years some peace and harmony would be wanted and needed from an entire civilization who have and always will have to SHARE this planet, its no ones in particular were all just visiting, so why be so fucking selfish about it? It really is a big place.  

The world is numb. The people are the zombies and the human race should be ashamed, the way we live so wastefully and hateful. The real animals on earth kill only for survival, the made animals (humans) kill for nothing. The world has been around for who knows how long , because no one really knows , and we still haven't gotten it right, made all of these technological advances and still haven't figured out how to coexist with each other. The only race that really has the power to change everything ;does nothing.

The things that are being taught to the youth and coming generations are so fucked up. Half of these kids don't even know how to fight, let alone survive. But I bet they can twerk like nobodies business or put together a dope ass outfit. The old are supposed to teach the young, and the misinformation that they are receiving will be the standard for life in the future, let that shit sink in America.

Gold Bird

In Plain Sight

I often ask people why they're glad to be an American and the most popular  answer is, "Because I'm free."  That couldn't be more wrong.  Just because certain liberties and freedoms that you may presume to be privileges haven't been stripped away from you doesn't mean we have it better. The same things people fear like wearing burkas or population control goes down here too, just in different forms. Or slightly similar ones. You get chided in America for  wearing certain things and there is DEFINITELY population going on, just because they aren't out in the open with it like in China does not mean it isn't happening.

I've never actually enjoyed being an American, never felt any real connection to this place. Although I've never lived in another country I have never felt welcomed here. People often forget their history or don't even bother to know it. I knew something wasn't right when they didn't want me to read. As a a little black girl that enjoyed reading and going to new and far away lands through paper and ink, I couldn't understand why they didn't want me to have that opportunity. So I read as much and as fast as I could to try to figure out what they didn't want me to know. I came across the Willie Lynch letter on my own around nine. I couldn't believe people felt like that about other people, why would you want people to behave like that? Break families apart like that? 

Fast forward twenty years. Black people killing each other over the dumbest shit imaginable, Babies being killed in the streets and watching it all unfold before your eyes because of the information super highway  is mind boggling. The Ferguson situation right now is fukking terrifying, just seeing despairty of the people. The force and practices of law enFORCEment are showing us what martial law is going to look like. We are all watching and subconsciously and psychologically being conditioned for this shit. Ferguson is a prerequisite to what America is about to go through. Seeing what will make people mad, in what areas, how militant are the civilians so we know how much and what they can handle.

I know people will say "Well the blacks are killing the blacks TOO!" so I guess that makes it ok for a police to drop a kid in the street because he was embarrassed? Nah. I worry  about the future. I'm an optimistic realist so I want things to get better for this angry ass world but not everybody feels like I do.

Gold Bird

Trophies

Boy meets girl, girl meets girl mentor meets student and helpers meet the needy. We all come across people in our lives that need us for something, be it an uplifting word a reality check or a life change. We collect people , or I guess I should say we collect auras and spirits. Some we can do without and some we can never shake. Like my mother for instance, I had her, but very briefly so I feel that mother-daughter connection still but not as much as someone who got to have their mom longer than I did.

Now when I say "collecting auras" I don't mean for playthings. I mean to be of some use to that person, we are all fragile enough from the worldly issues that are bestowed upon us so don't make it worse by being a dick to people. Do things with no reward other than knowing you're a great person and you are put on earth to fortify people not weaken them. I know its easy to manipulate people and use people that trust you, but for what? At what expense? You're sound body and mind is what you'll pay with.

Collect the kind of auras that will enrich your life, that will make you feel good and help you through life as long as you're here because one day you'll have to put the trophies back on the shelf never to be admired again because that stretch of the race is over.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Dominoes

You can't or should I say question "Why me?" There is no fukkin rhyme or reason for life, we're all just here living , creating existing or whatever people do with their lives. No one person has ever really controlled their own life, we're all on auto-pilot. So many people are gonna disagree with that and thats cool, just hear me out.

How many times have you said,  I don't know why or how something happened to me but I'm either a. Ecstatic or b. Pissed off ? A whole bunch, that's because you don't set up your life, the universe does. We are all dominoes its just that we have all been falling in place until its all over. Now I'm definitely not saying to be on "cruise control" until you croak, I'm just saying be more aware of your surroundings and position in the greatest dominoe set up ever; Life.

Everything is connected , everybody and everything eventually, it may never come to your attention but believe me,it's there. When my mother died its like my senses were heightened , like my animalistic survival skills came to the forefront. I was faced with decisions no teenager should have had to face without their mom, but it was the setup. There was nothing I could do... Sink or Swim.


The people you meet, the places you work, down to being in the line at CVS is all already written. I look at life differently than alot of people but when you have some of the most important people in your life early on , it just changes things. It makes you live different. I could never thoroughly explain this to anyone who hasn't lost both of their parents before eighteen. It is a different life, I don't know why that was set up like that but, that's what solidified my thoughts on how everything is out of my hands.


Alot of people will detest everything I'm saying but , I can't see life through anyone else's but my own. I just people would challenge some of the things put in their head and consider that it could be wrong. That it really doesn't matter  how good , great or terrible your life may be , it is only partially controlled by you and the rest is a dominoe effect.



XOXO
Gold Bird

To have and to hold

With the recent gay marriage issues going on right now I felt compelled to touch on the institute of marriage and what it means to ME. I have a lesbian sister and her girlfriend is white, they have two societal strikes against them already so I'm very defensive and passionate about anything that has to do with them. I feel like its my duty as her sister and just an educated woman to kind of break down a few myths about gay love and straight love.

First off, everything is the same. They argue,  they grocery shop, they make decisions and most importantly in my opinion is that they love unconditionally. I wont put it all out there but I've seen them go through shit that most people will walk away from, but love s love and no one can tell you what kind of love you deserve.

I've seen legally married  straight people do shit to their spouses that I wouldn't even do to a boyfriend. The ring and paperwork does change things, tangibly.  It does not change the heart though, If a person is not married to you in the mind body and spirit that ring and certificate are just pieces of matter. If they are embarrassing you and not placing you in the highest regards what does sharing a last name really doing or changing for y'all? 

Marriage is a state of mind, and means different things to people, that's why there is divorce. People's ideas and outlooks on life can change in an instant, a split second. Then they no longer have the desire to have and to hold anymore. I don't think those feelings should be limited to the"Right" combination of people. Think about it, If people were rallying and criticizing and ridiculing you for the person that makes you weak and strong at the same time, how would that make you feel? How would you feel not being able to show off who you live for? How would you feel having to be ashamed for being happy? 

People are way too concerned and consumed with others lives. Why they love , who they love , what they drive and have etc.but dont even have slightest idea about themselves and their own needs because they are too focused on other people. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

Unprotected

The last thing anyone wants or needs is a heartbreak. Its time consuming, people can see it in your eyes and it just doesn't wear well. Your mind constantly races with shoulda couldas and wouldas, but its over, and time to push through, not just for you but for the person who can see past the hurt and capture a glimpse of your awesomeness.

It is ideal to protect yourself in all situations , but with life and its many demands , its hard to cover all areas, that's where delegation and assistance is needed. Now who you assign to help you in life will be essential to your progression or the reason(s) you stay stagnant. The common goal is to squeeze as many laughs and smiles out of life until the clock stops, and if people cant contribute to that common goal, "Ax their ass!!"

To have to entrust people with your secrets, situations and sanity is to be vulnerable, people are scared of that. I understand the difficulty associated with opening up to people, I get the fact that people can and will hurt you," but how will you figure out who won't?"

We all have been let down, fucked over and scarred, but we all have been happy, lucky ,loved and given love immensely as well. Those feelings are what we live for, what we need and desire. To actually find people who invoke these feelings may take some time and require you to trudge through some bullshit, but when you get that intangible feeling of being unprotected and you know your people got you, you feel like a winner. Everybody deserves to be a winner.

The bitten tongue

Scene: A fellow approaches me in the gas station yesterday (from the back) , I know he didn't see my face because I seen him first. He says " Wassup Lil Mama you thick as fukk." I've heard it all so I was just like whatever. I replied in the snarkiest of tones, " I used to be a man" without even turning around. I felt his mind racing. I thought it was funny. I paid for things and about faced and gave him the sexiest smile I could muster without laughing. He obviously didn't return one.

I was kind of a quiet child, more action less talk, until I found my power in words and wit. So once I really started thinking deeper and reading more I got diarrhea of the mouth, but it was always good shit. I learned how to speak and when and why, I learned that the greatest form of influence is almost always with the ears instead of the eyes.

I have never really been the type to not say how I feel or keep quiet about "touchy" subjects. Being hush about things won't help you ,because if you can't talk about something how can you gain more understanding? If people don't know how you feel about something how can you get what you want and need? Everybody isn't elevated enough to read signs, symbols and body language simultaneously enough to kinda "know" people before you know em...

Saying anything to anybody within reason and respect shouldn't cause so much angst, people shouldn't tread so lightly when expressing how they feel. The only reason I chose to tell that man I was a dude was to challenge him in his next prey/kill situation to possibly look at the person's face before their body. 

Don't bite your tongue but dont be hurtful, express how you feel and maybe you'll be lucky enough to meet people who are just as open. It takes the guesswork out of an already complicated life.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Stray dogs, Alley cats

I see so many instagram pics, status and quotes about people being faithful and how to make your mate stay faithful, and only want you. Look, none of that will make a person not stray. You can't even make them, if they want to be with you and only , that's what they'll do. You can cook , clean , provide and curl toes, but if they want someone else...That's what it will be. 

Money won't  keep em. How many rich wives have slept with the yard boy? That man may give her everything in the world financially but he's obviously lacking somewhere else. People like to be paid attention to and if the only time that happens is when there's gifts with no thought being given . There could be a beautiful house that's not a home. If I wouldn't live in a box with you I wouldn't want to be in the mansion with you either.

When it comes to sex I think It can either be really important or not at all depending on the couple and their chemistry and bond strength. A person can love you to death and love everything you do sexually and still stray, why you ask? Because they want to. Now  I hear a lot of men and women say that even though they cheat there are many reasons to make em stray. I call bullshitt and still stick with my original theory  that they want to and that is the bottom line.

Being faithful isn't a requirement in some relationships though, and if that makes both parties satisfied then that is fine too, but both parties should definitely be aware of the arrangement. The problem with that though is most if not all people cannot handle what they dish out and things get messy from there. In closing , I feel that the one and only thing that can make someone want to do right and be faithful or do right and keep it 100% with everyone and themselves is them and them alone. As an adult you know whats right and wrong ; innately... If they're not scared to lose you you will lose them.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Show me how to live

You can see the past,  and live in the now but that queasy feeling you get about the future can hold your mind in an illustrious stupor. Wondering, hoping , wanting and planning for something you know nothing about. The truth of these matters can imprison our thoughts and lives. "What will happen if I do this?" "Can I recover if I go left instead of right?" Its these moments that can define or diminish our futures.

We are all wondering through life doing what we want, but what about when that could have been handled differently? When in fact you should have zigged instead of zagged. When you know you should have said Yes instead of no but the moment has passed and you are now faced with decisions that wouldn't even exist. That is the most mind-blowingest shit ever. To have to think of what could be instead of what is. 

I spend a lot of time in my thoughts and always trying to escape the grips of what is and what should be. I wish we were given at least a thirty second flash of the consequence before any major decision is made. That'd be great. It would only play once and no rewinds. That would eliminate so much of the fuckery that takes place in our lives.

Mystery is cool but I prefer a more structured approach. Life is Chess not Checkers, and who has the time to try and figure out so much? People and their ways, what career is perfect for you, when and where to be at a precise time. I don't want to see it all , just some of it. 

I live in a fantasy world and I know that this cannot and will not ever be an option , but If I can challenge myself a little harder to be steadfast in my approach to this never ending roller coaster I can and will be able to lay a few bricks ahead of me before I step out on the road. 

Gold Bird

XOXO

It aint all its "cracked" up to be

Today I was in the thrift store searching and sifting and my ass knocked over a whole rack of purses. It was like twenty handbags came crashing to the ground because my ass has a completely different agenda than me. So as I' m picking up the bags I thought I'd share this with ya'll.

I have been afflicted with steatopygia ever since puberty, so I have had these kinds of problems my whole life. Its so funny because my mother used to tell me that I couldn't wear the cute little shorts like the other girls my age because I wasn't built like them. As a kid you don't know what the hell that means, you just want to dress like the other kids. 

I hit fifteen and my curves were more prominent than some full grown women, it was so noticeable that a few drivers have been distracted and wrecked (right hand). I have had problems "fitting" in to and on to so many things! It looks good in clothes and stuff but imagine trying to walk through any opening that's not as wide as your ass and see don't you feel some type of way...lmao! Knock someones drink out of their hand, "Do you know how many drinks I've had to replace!?!" I'm just saying.

The stares, the gawking sneak pics and all that craziness, is just crazy!! I can appreciate a nice ass myself but geeze, this aint the zoo!! People ask to touch it, jiggle it see if it's real and I can't help but to wonder ,"What is the fascination?" Is it the roundness? The heaviness? Or is it like bird watching or stamp collecting, just another hobby or pasttime? Ass-Watching... lmao

In any event I know my booty is big and I know It's nice or whatever, but after a long weeks work and numerous squats at the gym, I don't feel like picking up racks of shit because my ass can't control itself.

XOXO

Gold Bird

The way you make you feel

Pep talks aren't just for athletes. They are much needed in everyday life to achieve the ultimate goal : Victory. I understand that it can be hard to do when life is bogging you down or things just aren't going so smoothly. If you are here on earth another day , fight the good fight even on the bad days. Give yourself  and your self-esteem a little sprucing up daily. Highlight what you're doing well and approach what you aren't just as a coach would do his team, with enthusiasm and zeal, not hastily.

Do nice things for yourself. I know it can be a wonderful thing to have people think about you and do things for you, but who knows you better than you know you? Who DEFINITELY knows how to make you smile? You do. You have to make yourself  feel good and deserving of being alive. Thats the only way you'll want to squeeze out all you can in life, as if you genuinely appreciate being alive. If it makes you smile. Do it

People always say I look mean , which may be true but I am not actually mean. I love taking selfies with strangers and doing things for others, It makes me feel super human. It is so easy to spew negativity and hateful shit, but way harder to be nice to people with no reward. It makes me feel like I am actually living a purposeful existence.

When you are reflecting on your life and times, be truthful but don't beat yourself down because all things aren't right, all we all can do is try our hardest to "drive" on a highway with no map, Have many experiences  and reach a satisfiable transcending...You are not perfect, I am not...no one is...Just feel good while you are.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Unicornism

My friends and family can all agree that I am very different. I've spoken on my quirkiness before so I won't delve. I get so many inboxes from men asking to "date me" or take me out , whatever but I can't never seem to clearly get across my rejection to them. I don't like being mean or hurting anyone's feelings so I just answer it with an " Awww , Thank You!" or some other form of friend zoning sentiment. 

Now don't get it twisted I am single and would consider a relationship with someone that I can trust as much as I trust myself, someone that will ask why I'm crying I can tell them it's because I just love them so much I cry, but nothing short of that!

I think that because of my body structure I may be being perceived as a stereotypical big booty hoe that is impressed by menial and material things. I can reassure any of the men that may try to "holla" will even read this because they dont want to know shit about me, they just see 58" inch hips and a smile. I know I may be a bit confusing to some and can come off a bit "mean" as  Trisha says but I'm not. I can just smell bullshit... I'm a bull.

I can't stand when people ask me whats my type.... Its like, "A good man is my type.. The fukk?" I know I'm a rare find that's why I can't settle, I refuse. In this day and age life is stressful enough and I cant and wont multiply my stress by adding someone that wont enrich my soul.

It needs to be understood that I don't like being single (its boring) but I dot want to be jacked around either. So I'll stay elusive and hard to catch or see, just like a unicorn.


Gold Bird
XOXO

Ten things that have changed in the last ten years

1. The way people date.... Remember how the butterflies would get all up in your stomach when he/she called that first time after getting the digits? Yeah, no more of that shit. Accept or friend request or double tap one too many times and there is now pixels and memes in between you and said person and no butterflies. 
2. Privacy. Nothing is a secret or even on the low anymore. No elaboration needed.
3. The number of smart people on the earth....Every since typing has become the most used form of communication these days it has exposed every person who was scared to read aloud in class back in the day.
4. TV....Most shows if not all are false perceptions of reality...
5. White girls with ass...That was not common back then...All white girls had cookie sheet booties.
6.  Fluctuating Gas Prices....That shit should be illegal in all 50 states.
7. People who sleep. Yeah I don't know either.
8. Respectful People. I am a people watcher and I see so much of this just in everyday situations and that sets the tone for whole communities. People need to respect one another even if they don't personally care for a person or group of people or whatever. Everyone deserves respect.
9. People with dreads... How long yall been growing them shits  and where was I when yall was growing em? 
10. Me.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Things I can't stand about Humans

 Why do people stare at you and say nothing? Even if you're staring at my ass say something, but don't leave that empty air pocket of thoughts floating between us. I don't know why but I feel that because of my own transparency with humans that everyone will do me a solid back. Not true. 

My client last night told me that she wish she would have met me years ago so she coulda hired me as her spokesperson because I say what most people think , but are afraid to. I keep it real because so many humans are keeping it fake and well, " I LOVE BEING DIFFERENT." 

Lying. Now that is directly related to being fake but its certain lies that really make my ass itch. Lies about being more sane than you are or having more money than you say you have and little petty shit like that. Or wanting praise for doing what an adult is supposed to do innately do. You get no "extra-praise" for doing the basics. Chill

Being hateful towards one another. Ok. There's Mfs I don't care for but Eh, Whatever. I will never go out of my way to show it. Not that important. I've learned that with age more people become competitive because they may be lacking "natural" attributes anymore and become in a way bitter of those that still "got it" You don't have to agree but I'm right. Be thankful for your own shit and quit hatin' on folks and get yo life.

                                 

Judgmental People need to build an island, inhabit it and leave us free spirits free to fly! What other people do with their time, morals, values and beliefs haven't a thing to do with mine, and vice versa. I believe that there are way too many combinations of ways to live life and that judging people for it takes way too much time and energy. If you don't know somebody within two feet and a meal or cocktail, you don't know them. Trust me.

Last but certainly not least, probably shoulda been first. The hypocrites. Aye look, hiding what you really enjoy in private and pretending you don't like it or agree with it is the dumbest shit ever. Giving advice that you yourself do not follow is just asinine. I know people like this and I call em on their shit because I cant stand it. Don't be this person , do what you do and mind your affairs, those are the kind of humans I do like.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Bordeaux

My Birthday is May 20th and I am having mixed feelings about it. I am old enough to be happy about making it here, but young enough to feel sad about not being a "baby" anymore as my co-workers say. I'm at a point where I can honestly say I know what I want. In my career, in my love life and in my spiritual life. I remember being eighteen and not having a fuckkin clue. I'm glad to be aging. (I'm going to stop saying getting old). 

There is nothing more unbecoming than a woman that is not her age, maturity wise. Knowing when you're wrong and understanding why someone else can be right sometimes too...lol. Understanding your feelings and taking control of them comes with age as well as I am learning.  Being able to read people better , find out fake shit as soon as possible, you don't need that in your aging life. 

People who mean you no good but are around for personal gain, now if they fully disclose what they want to gain beforehand, that's different. The more I age the more honesty becomes like finding truffles in the forest. I respect honest people they make me feel like I'm not the only unicorn left. I seek these people out, I love them and they don't even know it. I have a special affinity for people who let you read their minds by telling you whats on it. 

I don't want to be the old broad in the club looking like I'm still bored with life at 40+ looking the fool. I want to be 40+ and looking like Angela Bassett or Sade, just the embodiment of grace and successful aging. I want to leave my smear on the glass of life as I am a full bodied glass of 1985 Bordeaux.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Tales Of Taurus: Karma is not a bitch, she's just real

Tales Of Taurus: Karma is not a bitch, she's just real:  We spend our whole lives making decisions and questioning ourselves, and others. In the decision making process usually something  is favo...

Karma is not a bitch, she's just real

 We spend our whole lives making decisions and questioning ourselves, and others. In the decision making process usually something  is favorable (right) and something is unfavorable (wrong). Now here is where shit gets tricky because you have to choose, and you will. EVERYBODY has done wrong and right, and if you disagree, you're dumber than you should be. 

If you really look at how things go down in your life, you can see a pattern. If you have ever schemed on someone, you eventually get hit with a scheme too...Maybe in a major way, maybe not but the universe sees EVERYTHING. It works that way for doing good things too. I have been on both sides of the fence and I am not exempt, but whenever shit happens to me I usually know why. I did something similar to someone or I helped a complete stranger , but Karma makes sure I know whats real. 

I think because so many people already have preconceived notions about life they can't really form their own opinions and map out their own lives , they cant see this aspect of life. They're always confused about why things are fucked up or why they are good. I don't think people are victims of circumstance but receivers of the same types of energy they expel. 

The older I get the less I feel that my life is ONLY about me. I know that I come in contact with lots of people and because of that I need to be the energy I want to receive. People are not in tune with with themselves, not thinking clearly, and higher. The playing field is too leveled, to even, (mentally) . I'm on an elite squad when it comes to mental ability ..lol. I may not be the most tangibly rich but I'm wealthy in other areas. I'm Karmatically rich. 

Do what you love and like, but if its on the wrong , unfavorable, low-down and dirty side; know for a fact its coming back. If you're like me and have had your fair share of bullshit form doing bullshit, think fifty steps ahead. and make a decision. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

Even when you don't

I think its a wonderful thing to be able to remember your sleeping life, also known as a dream. Even if you only remember bits and pieces or one significant detail, it can be interpreted if you can recall. I was on Facebook talking to a cousin of mine one morning and he introduced me to a website, and what seemed to be out of place symbols and awkward scenarios  started to be clear, crystal clear. 

I was compelled to write a blog after last night's sleeping lesson, I seen a gorilla in it. Cant really remember why but a majestic primate is all I remember. I always go immediately to the site so I wont lose my symbol. The website said " To see a gorilla suggests that you may be "to over the top" in your behavior. Perhaps you are compensating for your rigidity and stiffness in your waking life. Alternatively , the gorilla symbolizes your primitive impulses, wild nature and repressed sexual energy." Now I know me and that was dead on. I have used this website every since he mentioned it. It has cleared up a lot of "odd" dreams for me and helped me alter my course if need be or an intangible pat on the back. 

We often wonder why we do the things we do. Why we think things but don't say it and other subconscious cerebral functions that feel embedded and not learned. Its because the brain is a map, a scavenger hunt, a smorgasbord of puzzle pieces to help you navigate through life. I feel like the gorilla interpretation was much needed right now because I am rigid and stiff sometimes and that needs to change. The second half of the interpretation, well....Yeah. Lol!

I hope that anyone who reads this entry will utilize the website at least once to see how it can help, because we all need that from time to time. Don't stress about remembering the whole dream just whatever sticks out. Let me know in a comment if you were floored like I was my first time interpreting. I have tried other dream books and this one is the best. If I wasn't so thrifty I would order the book, (Its $29)  to have it handy by my bedside. I need all the help I can get free of charge! 

www.dreammoods.com

XOXO

Gold Bird

Society Driven Livin'

The funny thing about life is that you have no idea what's going to happen.. Ever? You can plan and plan , and things can still turn out differently. Its just the way it works. There are these imaginary rules set forth by your predecessors and others trying to show you the way, but what if that way is disagreeable with what your soul wants , it will be a miserable life. I see people who want to go left when society says right and they would rather live unhappily before they disappoint society. Everything isn't for everybody that's why we all have choices and a myriad of avenues we could take. Owning a home isn't for everyone, some people i.e Yours Truly would rather have someone else pay for broken down water heaters , and someone else shovel my walk.

Tieing the knot isn't for everyone. People figure that if you get married it places some  kind of force field around the love that was present before the rings. I want to find a mate to be with forever, don't get it twisted, but I don't want to legally share someone elses life. Everyone has their views about it, that's just mine. Why do I need to sign ownership papers just to love someone infinitely? Some people feel its the highest rank in the love "army" , and who doesn't like to be on top?

Consumerism...Status Rank...keeping up with the Jonses... Yall know the name of the game. Now I like my fair share of fancy shit and name brand goods, but I'm a thrifter so that's how I get my fix without breaking the bank. I also feel like I don't have to have everything, just what I want. There is a serious issue with folks who can barely comprehend the English language  and basic conversation  but are cloaked in $500 coats and shoes. The truly wealthy and logical people know how to avoid society driven livin'. They make investments and sow seeds of financial independence in order to instill those values in their children. Buying useless shit to impress people who don't care.

In closing, you have to do what you to keep those smiles coming and genuine.Fuck society, people are not gonna sustain from doing what they like to appease you. Remember that. Do as you please and when you clock out of here know that you milked it and held the cup.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Out like a lion in like a fashionably conscious lamb

So Spring is upon us and so is fashion fuck ups because everyone has been covered up so long, but aye look here, I think I'm a good source for fashion advice. I'm a thrifting guru, I'm brutally honest and I can dress any size and any age. I can make over an entire wardbrobe with the right amount of time and minimal loot, I can make it happen. 

First of all, It all starts with confidence. Winter has had the Midwest all kinds of messy and stuck in the house eating and being  really relaxed. When I say relaxed  I mean putting on a few pounds, but whatever.. Ok that's not really whats important. This fashion is. Ok. Determine how you want to introduce a new look into your life. If youve always zigged... zag this time. Nothing makes you feel better than change. 

Get staple pieces in your wardrobe that can be done in a myriad of ways all throughout the spring and summer.Good Blazers in a perfect cut for your shape can take any basic look to a crisp and polished look... Even a maxi dress. Lots of  sunglasses, thats all year round but especially when the sun is coming out more, look sassy and protect those peepers.

Ok now, we all see it..lets speak on it. High-waisted anything and a crop top.... now I know its a very popular look right now , but it aint for everybody. If youre built like a glowworm or a half squeezed tube of toothpaste , leave that one alone, Im sorry love its just not happening.

I know that trendy shit is what people like , so thats what people flock to, but really shouldnt. Victoria Secret Jogging suiits are not clothes, just like pajamas arent.... That shit is uber tacky to me. So stop rolling up in the club in jogging suits and gym shoes, be a girl. 

I'll get off the girls for a second and address some of the things men shouldnt be doing this Spring and Summer either. Nappy deads, too tight clothes, too loose clothes and last but not least sagging. Its over for that shit. Pull your pants up or  be forever labeled as a loser, IJS. 

Last but not least ladies you should take some self-respect into Spring in Summer. It wears well and looks good on everybody. Definitely incorporate it into your wardrobe

Such a shame people become such fragile things.

I have mentioned before that I'm a hairstylist and I get to meet a lot of people from all walks of life. I will be forever grateful for that because it has made me a seasoned professional  on judging people. Yes I said judging, because it is only then can I decide what type of people I want in my life. There is this invisible rule book that most humans go by that creates a standard of  lifing and what majority of people  go by.  I see it everyday . Its like , go to school, find a mate, work,  get married get a mortgage and car payment , have some kids get old and die. 

  

The fragility of people sets in when those things are not of the heart's desire and its a constant tightrope balancing "act" to maintain a standard way of life. You're always on edge , always dissatisfied and frustrated. I'm so scared to live like that. I'm TERRIFIED to live a life devoid of splendor and pleasure just to fit the fukk in. I like unconventional people and think out side the box-ers . They excite my senses and intellect, they strengthen my zest to know. 

I have a lot of people who tell me I should speak to young people. I think  I will. It is so many weak fragile minded individuals bringing up children. I really think its cool that I don't have kids and people value my opinions about life so much they trust me with their offspring's thinking process! I am a motherless and fatherless self-taught rebel  that just so happened to be urban , alternative and left and right brained. I view the world as it should be and not how I want it to be. I't just doesn't make sense, and that's what happens to people. They live in a real life fairy-tale.

The harder life gets the more fragile the people are, I've been through so much that I can't even be fragile anymore. Being fragile is a state of mind , become unbreakable.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Pretty Brown Girls

Its all in the eyes...

I work in a really cool salon with dope people and an unparalleled atmosphere. When I first started there, even being as outgoing and likable (lol) as I am, I was still a little nervous but whatever everything was good. It takes a lot to find a salon home. This is no ordinary salon though, it has perks that no other salon in the world has. 

We share a set of french doors with a bakery that sells some of thee most sinful pastries and hand crafted sammies. I've had many lunches and sugar laden things from Corey and Tess, but that's not the best thing in Roll-with -It Bakery. 

They have two daughters Julie and Maddie that I am watching grow up. Now at first they didn't care for me too much, I get it... I looked weird to them with my colored hair and piercings and such so they kinda steered clear. Here lately has been a different story. 

In between clients or whenever I'm free they have been like straight up coming for me. Its cool because I don't have little ones and I don't understand why they like me so much and they don't bother me. I know why grown people like me, its because I have something they want. These small people are different. Maddie doesnt really like me as much as Jules but she's coming around...lol. Julie asks me cool questions, makes me watch Manah Manah  and Despicable Me on YouTube and eat popsicles. 

That's not the reason for this entry though. She keeps looking at my eyes and saying they're pretty. Now this is a child and is not old enough to understand auras and spirits and things of that nature, but she looks me dead smack in the eyes and talks to me. There's adults that cant even do that. I listen to her when she talks and the intelligence is very impressive. 

The eyes are definitely a window to the soul, a three year old has solidified a place in mine. I'ts crazy how people capture you and make you see things a bit differently, and usually its all in the eyes. She is not judging me, she doesn't know my financial status or anything else that adults let interfere with seeing the real you and I just think it dope. I've been gushing about this  because it just lights up my life to be viewed as beautiful in a child's eye.

XOXO

Gold Bird

The softer side of dying

I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of not being able to live any longer. Not being able to create , not being able to experience and learn forever. The physical death is something we all have to do whether we want to or not but I'm so gluttonous when it comes to absorbing life. 

I think that is the only real messed up thing about life is the fact that you go through it collecting spirits and harvesting memories and you don't get to have it forever. I don't care about dying , I'm just scared to be forgotten (another reason I started my blog) I want to be immortalized in all things I say or do. I want to affect people, I want to be legendary. It doesn't take discovering electricity or curing cancer to do so either. I hope to leave impressions and words of uplifting real shit behind. 

I talk and think about death a lot different than most people I know simply because I've experienced so much of it. The only connection I have to these people is memories or bits of info I needed to have from them in our time shared. I remember what they said  and in their voices. I don't like funerals because that's not the last memory I want of my loved ones. 

In my procession to another whatever happens when I kick the can I hope to have impacted so many people that I'll live forever in the thoughts and hearts of all who hold me dear. 

XOXO

Gold Bird 

P.S  This entry sounds suicidal..lmao...I assure you it is not!! 

P.P.S Like my co-worker Miss. Norma says "I'm gonna live to be 100 years old and be killed by a jealous woman...!

Finding your Elephant

I was texting my sister this morning and since she's moved to what seems like the other side of the world, Our conversations have become more random and more memorable. She and my sister-in-law have been together for a decade and of course by it being Valentine's Day I was gloating on their love. I told her that I think it's sweet how Suzy still romances her after all these years, and she said she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else. 

Love like that lasts through many'a Valentine's Days, sick days I cant stand you sometimes but if anyone fukked with you I'd kill 'em days. It's very rare that people actually ever find their one true love. The one that lasts through EVERYTHING. That's my sister so I've been along for the ride. They are elephants. They have found their mate for life. It means a lot to be able to share every moment, every thought and idea with ONE PERSON.  

I think that the only way you'll ever find that is to be honest with yourself, honest with your mate and be able to love another human as much as you love yourself (that's deep). If I cant tell you everything. You're not my elephant. If you aren't willing to do the same. Not for me. I've seen these two go through things I may have walked out on, because I have. They are my favorite love to reference when I think of what I want in an elephant. 

I'ts Valentine's Day so Ive been a bit mushy all day, but for good reason. (wink). I can't think of a better couple to celebrate but my Sister and Suzy. 

If you have a giraffe or a pig, trade 'em in for an elephant. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

Tracy's Baby

I look so much like my mother....it angers me that I didnt get to spend more time with her....But Im grateful that in that short amount of time, I learned a lot...She filled me with sooth and insight....I miss her everyday...but I always get to see her in my mannerisms. ..my oh so famous F'Bombs and when I look in the mirror. ...Im Tracy's baby.

So I had ranted on Facebook about people not supporting and sharing local people who are trying to excel and it made me feel some type of way! (Insert ratchet neck roll) I felt that way because I have been doing many things in my fields (fashion, modeling, eyelashes and such) and I had noticed that the people I thought were in my corner and wanted me to succeed would help me along...Not true. So I wanted to highlight people who I admire and respect in my blog. From here on out I am going to try to bring y'all (I'm from the Midwest) a new face and a new grind every week.

First up is Miss. Amber Michelle Harper. I met her back in the summer after much contemplating on a septum piercing. I have several tattoos and piercings but had never had any work done by a female before and wanted to experience that. I had seen a photoshoot she had done with one of my really good friends Sharmaine "PBPIX" Cooper who yal will get to meet another day, so I contacted her via Facebook and the rest is "her"story. I have trusted her to pierce my body and she has now trusted me to tell a little of her story.

Ladies and Gents....

GB: How long have you been a professional piercer and what made you choose this career?

AMH: I have been a professional piercer for one year and two months (not including the time I spent in my apprenticeship). What got me into it was art. I've always been into all types of art, and the way being in the tattoo studio made me feel was motivating. I started drawing more and wanting to be around tattoo artists more so I began to search for piercing apprenticeships. I finally found one, after proving my dedication to learning an amazing piercer by the name of Bradd Collins took me in and showed me the ropes. I completely fell in love with everything about body modification.

GB: Are you originally from Indianapolis?

AMH: Yes I am.

GB:Who is your inspiration, and what keeps you going from day-to-day as an entrepreneur?

AMH: Freedom. Freedom is my undeniable passion. Creativity. My desire to give this world what I have. When I am not using my gifts or my talents I feel caged. There are so many things I that I can do, that my determination to show them each one of my capabilities wont allow me to keep still. I know that if I exist, I can do it. In addition, an incredible man that I know by the name of Amani Tre Niner. He has become like a Sensei to me. The respect his presence commands, and the undying commitment he puts into his crafts are extremely inspirational to me! He's like a master at everything! Lol, I swear his talents have no limits, he believes and supports me  unlike anyone I've known in this life of mine. So watching him create such phenomenal artwork and music , and work so hard to perfect everything he touches inspire me to be like that if not better. (If that's even possible.lol)

GB: I see you play guitar and sing. Do you have any shows coming up that you'd like to tell my readers about?

 

AMH: YES! My first love is music. Sometimes I feel like God created a liquid form of music, put it in my veins and called it "blood". Music is MINE. What I mean by that is , music is my art. It is whatever I want it to be, however I want it to sound and feel. I can play my guitar and sing a song that takes you to whatever you're feeling or atmosphere I want you to be in. Self expression is HUGE to me, and to be able to do that by crating a bunch of different sounds where there was nothing before, and share that with people, AND they just so happen to enjoy it? That's amazing. To answer your question (sorry,lol), yes! I have a show coming up February 16th at the Caribbean Village.

GB: If you could meet anyone , dead or alive and have an hour conversation with them... Who would that be?

AMH: I was going to say a very famous producer, but I'm sure I will get that opportunity in time... so Im going to say my grandmother, my fathers mother. She passed when I was nine years old so I wasn't around her a lot, so I haven't very many memories. I hear that she was a very wise and loving woman!

GB: What do you want people to remember about AMH once she leaves this earth?

AMH: My heart, and my voice.

Well there you have it guys , the lovely and talented Amber Michelle Harper. She can be found at Body Animations 6729 E. 38th Street Indianapolis , Indiana 46226

On Facebook :Amber Michelle Harper

On Instagram: @iam_amichelle

Twitter:@iam_amichelle

Email :AHarper812@gmail.com

Phone/ Text: 317-918-9003

I Will Be There by Odessa (previously titled "Mountains")

live YOUR life

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I get weird sometimes...

I dont know when or why....But yeah...I paid .59 for this 100% suede trapper hat....Im a thrifting guru....I need to write bout that too...lol!

Urban Warfare, the expiration of the Black Male

Everyday I log on to my Facebook and see R.I.P to someone. Now these "someones" I rarely know by face and some I know from passing. Its sad because maybe they were gonna be someone I'd recognize, or be someone great or maybe not. I just know that the crimes more senseless by the day.  Now if you look at someone wrong or embarrass a person in front of their peers its a death sentence. I have brothers , cousins and a nephew that I worry about constantly.

 I see the pics of these young men and sometimes women with their babies and wifeys and its like they really didn't even get to enjoy it. Most people will say that because of the lifestyle they live you should just expect them to expire before twenty-five. No one says that about eighteen year olds fighting in wars , killing innocent women and children.

I'm scared for the generations that I wont get to see. They are doomed, especially the black male. They know nothing but "Pride" and it always comes before destruction. No one is talking to them or listening for that matter. We are eradicating our most sought after resource: Life Makers. The black men don't even know how priceless they are because no one tells them so, no one convinces them that they are great! We need more black men giving examples instead of turning the other cheek and filling their closets with shirts with their nephews, friends and sons.  Say something! Do Something! Help these young men help themselves, Spend time with them if you know their own Dads aren't present.  Help preserve us.

If they only knew what they're doing to their mothers, sisters and all of the women who love them. The babies are being orphaned before they even learn Daddy's real name. The only memory they will have of them is what people can tell them, if they can remember. Mothers and Fathers are not supposed to out live their children, ITS UN NATURAL. I wish there were more people willing to reach out and help.

I might get to see it I might not but I will be more than ecstatic to scroll through my newsfeed and not see another child being laid to rest.

xoxo

Gold Bird

Tales Of Taurus: Intimacy is not always about sex Retards....

Tales Of Taurus: Intimacy is not always about sex Retards....: Being close with someone, understanding their silence finding comfort in their noise and salvation in their arms. That's what intimacy ...

Intimacy is not always about sex Retards....

Being close with someone, understanding their silence finding comfort in their noise and salvation in their arms. That's what intimacy means to me. I know a lot of un-educated folk hear the word and think of unguided neck kisses and wet panties but that's not even an iota of what intimacy is. 

 

 

In this new age of everything being  ready 24\7 we forget the longing for another human being because all we have to do is open up Instagram or Facebook and there they are. You don't get to use your imagination when envisioning their face because there's eight hundred pics of them right there. You don't get to wonder what they're thinking because they've already told three thousand other people already. There's no intimacy between friends, co-workers or associates because everyone is so disconnected. Hugs are replaced with emojis , kisses replaced with X's and O's and people don't seem to miss it, I love a good cuddle and close faced talking and sharing of thoughts (real thoughts). It just doesn't seem feasible these days.

 

 

 

The kids are so brazen, so rough and un-scathed by anything because they lack the intimacy needed to build strong and meaningful relationships. They just don't give a fuck. People are so scared to open up to anybody because when you do you become a facebook post or subliminal meme to people. It almost seems as if everyone is being used as jesters these days and not humans with a core. I hope one day we can get back to needing each other, to not only wanting to cuddle when it snows or rains and just be there for each other in the moment for what its worth.



XOXO
Gold Bird


Lies : Why they're stupid to me

 In life we have choices, its your agreeable and disagreeable nature. I like to go with the agreeable side more often than not because it allows me to smile more and love better. I've never been the lying type because its too hard to keep up with that bullshit, and you only lie when you're scared. Besides if I'm gonna lie, its gonna be to get out of trouble or something not to hurt anyone. Especially someone I love.

Lies hold you back too, and why would you want that? Why would you intentionally retard your own growth? Smother your real feelings and stifle other people in the process? I have lied before I'm not saying that but it was when I didn't know how much I was hurting myself and my victims. Its not healthy, its not useful so I wonder why people do it? I'll never know because I'm a truth teller. I owe the world the best me and I cant be that being a fukking liar.

XOXO

Gold Bird

February 14th... Single peoples D-Day

 Its that time of year again, time for taken folks to brag and single folks to nag. I stopped getting all fukked up about not having someone to share that day with. Then I thought about it. I don't even like trendy shit. I'm not really a fan of the color red and I haven't owned a teddy bear in years. So what could a man do for me on Valentines Day that he couldn't do for me on any other day?

Holidays are stupid, (unless its my birthday) they are conducive to making money and that's it. I'd much prefer a Goodwill gift card over a box of chocolates let me tell ya! I don't like to see women all down about it and men dangle their "Valentines availability" on Facebook and shit. I understand the tradition of it and everyone wanting to feel loved and get roses and stuff, but think about the other days of the year. Showing your love and affection requires no dictation and no date. Being sweet and buying little trinkets and things are cool but look at the bigger picture. What's Valentines Day with no real authentic love anyways? When you find yourself getting down about it just think of all the people who are faking that shit. Putting on for the world that they are happy but in all actuality wish they could spend that "real" special someone.

So lets all prepare ourselves for the pics , memes , posts and subposts...lol The sidepiece holiday (Feb. 13 or 15) shit... the "He went to Jared" and all other things associated with the day. Its just a day and doesn't define your relationship worthiness, so chill. You will find someone's nerves to get on one day, you'll find someone to accept you and all of your quirks and kinks and it will be worth it, and you wont need one 24 hour day to define it.

XOXO

Gold Bird



I'm Always Naked

          You know, to be truly naked is to be truly happy. I can't think of a time where I was cloaked in sadness that I really felt free. I'm a hairstylist and I come in contact with lots of folks and I haven't met one that hasn't met the real me. My friends, my coworkers and strangers alike have always thanked me for being myself. I get asked daily by strangers for guidance, not because I'm the Dali fucking Lama but because they see me. I expose myself to the world because I view myself as a gift, ( I THINK YOU SHOULD TOO)  I am not perfect nor would I want to be. I see people live their lives in fear, fear of what people think of them and how they are viewed. I don't have to because me, see, I'm always naked.

 My opinion will always be heard, my presence will always be felt and needless to say I will always be seen. I realized a long time ago that being someone you're not is the perfect way to self-destruction.  But fuck all that. I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time! Word to George Strait! I used to be scared as hell to be me. To be fuckin' weird and look different, love different, take sexy and suggestive photos and not be frowned upon. Its such a shame that people grow up being taught such a grotesque view of anatomy and beauty. Its such a shame that people grow up being taught to lie and scheme and shit. (THERE'S THAT CLOAK)  To not be naked.

About the sexy and suggestive pictures though, let me touch on that because people have it all wrong sometimes. Look, my body has caused real life car accidents and altercations. It is unusual to see, I've learned to deal with that but I also like to photograph it. It's just like when someone paints a weird looking alien screaming on a bridge or sculpts the first man, Its beautiful to look at. You can't believe that every woman that takes these kinds of photographs are vile. Chill.

I'm always naked because there is no other way to live, no other way to die. I will be talked about for years to come, I just know it. People love people like me. Raw, full of life passionate, eccentric, open and selfless. I'm always naked...look at me...love me or leave me the fuck alone!

XOXO

Gold Bird