It aint all its "cracked" up to be

Today I was in the thrift store searching and sifting and my ass knocked over a whole rack of purses. It was like twenty handbags came crashing to the ground because my ass has a completely different agenda than me. So as I' m picking up the bags I thought I'd share this with ya'll.

I have been afflicted with steatopygia ever since puberty, so I have had these kinds of problems my whole life. Its so funny because my mother used to tell me that I couldn't wear the cute little shorts like the other girls my age because I wasn't built like them. As a kid you don't know what the hell that means, you just want to dress like the other kids. 

I hit fifteen and my curves were more prominent than some full grown women, it was so noticeable that a few drivers have been distracted and wrecked (right hand). I have had problems "fitting" in to and on to so many things! It looks good in clothes and stuff but imagine trying to walk through any opening that's not as wide as your ass and see don't you feel some type of way...lmao! Knock someones drink out of their hand, "Do you know how many drinks I've had to replace!?!" I'm just saying.

The stares, the gawking sneak pics and all that craziness, is just crazy!! I can appreciate a nice ass myself but geeze, this aint the zoo!! People ask to touch it, jiggle it see if it's real and I can't help but to wonder ,"What is the fascination?" Is it the roundness? The heaviness? Or is it like bird watching or stamp collecting, just another hobby or pasttime? Ass-Watching... lmao

In any event I know my booty is big and I know It's nice or whatever, but after a long weeks work and numerous squats at the gym, I don't feel like picking up racks of shit because my ass can't control itself.

XOXO

Gold Bird