Such a shame people become such fragile things.

I have mentioned before that I'm a hairstylist and I get to meet a lot of people from all walks of life. I will be forever grateful for that because it has made me a seasoned professional  on judging people. Yes I said judging, because it is only then can I decide what type of people I want in my life. There is this invisible rule book that most humans go by that creates a standard of  lifing and what majority of people  go by.  I see it everyday . Its like , go to school, find a mate, work,  get married get a mortgage and car payment , have some kids get old and die. 

  

The fragility of people sets in when those things are not of the heart's desire and its a constant tightrope balancing "act" to maintain a standard way of life. You're always on edge , always dissatisfied and frustrated. I'm so scared to live like that. I'm TERRIFIED to live a life devoid of splendor and pleasure just to fit the fukk in. I like unconventional people and think out side the box-ers . They excite my senses and intellect, they strengthen my zest to know. 

I have a lot of people who tell me I should speak to young people. I think  I will. It is so many weak fragile minded individuals bringing up children. I really think its cool that I don't have kids and people value my opinions about life so much they trust me with their offspring's thinking process! I am a motherless and fatherless self-taught rebel  that just so happened to be urban , alternative and left and right brained. I view the world as it should be and not how I want it to be. I't just doesn't make sense, and that's what happens to people. They live in a real life fairy-tale.

The harder life gets the more fragile the people are, I've been through so much that I can't even be fragile anymore. Being fragile is a state of mind , become unbreakable.

XOXO

Gold Bird

Pretty Brown Girls

Its all in the eyes...

I work in a really cool salon with dope people and an unparalleled atmosphere. When I first started there, even being as outgoing and likable (lol) as I am, I was still a little nervous but whatever everything was good. It takes a lot to find a salon home. This is no ordinary salon though, it has perks that no other salon in the world has. 

We share a set of french doors with a bakery that sells some of thee most sinful pastries and hand crafted sammies. I've had many lunches and sugar laden things from Corey and Tess, but that's not the best thing in Roll-with -It Bakery. 

They have two daughters Julie and Maddie that I am watching grow up. Now at first they didn't care for me too much, I get it... I looked weird to them with my colored hair and piercings and such so they kinda steered clear. Here lately has been a different story. 

In between clients or whenever I'm free they have been like straight up coming for me. Its cool because I don't have little ones and I don't understand why they like me so much and they don't bother me. I know why grown people like me, its because I have something they want. These small people are different. Maddie doesnt really like me as much as Jules but she's coming around...lol. Julie asks me cool questions, makes me watch Manah Manah  and Despicable Me on YouTube and eat popsicles. 

That's not the reason for this entry though. She keeps looking at my eyes and saying they're pretty. Now this is a child and is not old enough to understand auras and spirits and things of that nature, but she looks me dead smack in the eyes and talks to me. There's adults that cant even do that. I listen to her when she talks and the intelligence is very impressive. 

The eyes are definitely a window to the soul, a three year old has solidified a place in mine. I'ts crazy how people capture you and make you see things a bit differently, and usually its all in the eyes. She is not judging me, she doesn't know my financial status or anything else that adults let interfere with seeing the real you and I just think it dope. I've been gushing about this  because it just lights up my life to be viewed as beautiful in a child's eye.

XOXO

Gold Bird

The softer side of dying

I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of not being able to live any longer. Not being able to create , not being able to experience and learn forever. The physical death is something we all have to do whether we want to or not but I'm so gluttonous when it comes to absorbing life. 

I think that is the only real messed up thing about life is the fact that you go through it collecting spirits and harvesting memories and you don't get to have it forever. I don't care about dying , I'm just scared to be forgotten (another reason I started my blog) I want to be immortalized in all things I say or do. I want to affect people, I want to be legendary. It doesn't take discovering electricity or curing cancer to do so either. I hope to leave impressions and words of uplifting real shit behind. 

I talk and think about death a lot different than most people I know simply because I've experienced so much of it. The only connection I have to these people is memories or bits of info I needed to have from them in our time shared. I remember what they said  and in their voices. I don't like funerals because that's not the last memory I want of my loved ones. 

In my procession to another whatever happens when I kick the can I hope to have impacted so many people that I'll live forever in the thoughts and hearts of all who hold me dear. 

XOXO

Gold Bird 

P.S  This entry sounds suicidal..lmao...I assure you it is not!! 

P.P.S Like my co-worker Miss. Norma says "I'm gonna live to be 100 years old and be killed by a jealous woman...!

Finding your Elephant

I was texting my sister this morning and since she's moved to what seems like the other side of the world, Our conversations have become more random and more memorable. She and my sister-in-law have been together for a decade and of course by it being Valentine's Day I was gloating on their love. I told her that I think it's sweet how Suzy still romances her after all these years, and she said she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else. 

Love like that lasts through many'a Valentine's Days, sick days I cant stand you sometimes but if anyone fukked with you I'd kill 'em days. It's very rare that people actually ever find their one true love. The one that lasts through EVERYTHING. That's my sister so I've been along for the ride. They are elephants. They have found their mate for life. It means a lot to be able to share every moment, every thought and idea with ONE PERSON.  

I think that the only way you'll ever find that is to be honest with yourself, honest with your mate and be able to love another human as much as you love yourself (that's deep). If I cant tell you everything. You're not my elephant. If you aren't willing to do the same. Not for me. I've seen these two go through things I may have walked out on, because I have. They are my favorite love to reference when I think of what I want in an elephant. 

I'ts Valentine's Day so Ive been a bit mushy all day, but for good reason. (wink). I can't think of a better couple to celebrate but my Sister and Suzy. 

If you have a giraffe or a pig, trade 'em in for an elephant. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

Tracy's Baby

I look so much like my mother....it angers me that I didnt get to spend more time with her....But Im grateful that in that short amount of time, I learned a lot...She filled me with sooth and insight....I miss her everyday...but I always get to see her in my mannerisms. ..my oh so famous F'Bombs and when I look in the mirror. ...Im Tracy's baby.