To have and to hold

With the recent gay marriage issues going on right now I felt compelled to touch on the institute of marriage and what it means to ME. I have a lesbian sister and her girlfriend is white, they have two societal strikes against them already so I'm very defensive and passionate about anything that has to do with them. I feel like its my duty as her sister and just an educated woman to kind of break down a few myths about gay love and straight love.

First off, everything is the same. They argue,  they grocery shop, they make decisions and most importantly in my opinion is that they love unconditionally. I wont put it all out there but I've seen them go through shit that most people will walk away from, but love s love and no one can tell you what kind of love you deserve.

I've seen legally married  straight people do shit to their spouses that I wouldn't even do to a boyfriend. The ring and paperwork does change things, tangibly.  It does not change the heart though, If a person is not married to you in the mind body and spirit that ring and certificate are just pieces of matter. If they are embarrassing you and not placing you in the highest regards what does sharing a last name really doing or changing for y'all? 

Marriage is a state of mind, and means different things to people, that's why there is divorce. People's ideas and outlooks on life can change in an instant, a split second. Then they no longer have the desire to have and to hold anymore. I don't think those feelings should be limited to the"Right" combination of people. Think about it, If people were rallying and criticizing and ridiculing you for the person that makes you weak and strong at the same time, how would that make you feel? How would you feel not being able to show off who you live for? How would you feel having to be ashamed for being happy? 

People are way too concerned and consumed with others lives. Why they love , who they love , what they drive and have etc.but dont even have slightest idea about themselves and their own needs because they are too focused on other people. 

XOXO

Gold Bird

Unprotected

The last thing anyone wants or needs is a heartbreak. Its time consuming, people can see it in your eyes and it just doesn't wear well. Your mind constantly races with shoulda couldas and wouldas, but its over, and time to push through, not just for you but for the person who can see past the hurt and capture a glimpse of your awesomeness.

It is ideal to protect yourself in all situations , but with life and its many demands , its hard to cover all areas, that's where delegation and assistance is needed. Now who you assign to help you in life will be essential to your progression or the reason(s) you stay stagnant. The common goal is to squeeze as many laughs and smiles out of life until the clock stops, and if people cant contribute to that common goal, "Ax their ass!!"

To have to entrust people with your secrets, situations and sanity is to be vulnerable, people are scared of that. I understand the difficulty associated with opening up to people, I get the fact that people can and will hurt you," but how will you figure out who won't?"

We all have been let down, fucked over and scarred, but we all have been happy, lucky ,loved and given love immensely as well. Those feelings are what we live for, what we need and desire. To actually find people who invoke these feelings may take some time and require you to trudge through some bullshit, but when you get that intangible feeling of being unprotected and you know your people got you, you feel like a winner. Everybody deserves to be a winner.

The bitten tongue

Scene: A fellow approaches me in the gas station yesterday (from the back) , I know he didn't see my face because I seen him first. He says " Wassup Lil Mama you thick as fukk." I've heard it all so I was just like whatever. I replied in the snarkiest of tones, " I used to be a man" without even turning around. I felt his mind racing. I thought it was funny. I paid for things and about faced and gave him the sexiest smile I could muster without laughing. He obviously didn't return one.

I was kind of a quiet child, more action less talk, until I found my power in words and wit. So once I really started thinking deeper and reading more I got diarrhea of the mouth, but it was always good shit. I learned how to speak and when and why, I learned that the greatest form of influence is almost always with the ears instead of the eyes.

I have never really been the type to not say how I feel or keep quiet about "touchy" subjects. Being hush about things won't help you ,because if you can't talk about something how can you gain more understanding? If people don't know how you feel about something how can you get what you want and need? Everybody isn't elevated enough to read signs, symbols and body language simultaneously enough to kinda "know" people before you know em...

Saying anything to anybody within reason and respect shouldn't cause so much angst, people shouldn't tread so lightly when expressing how they feel. The only reason I chose to tell that man I was a dude was to challenge him in his next prey/kill situation to possibly look at the person's face before their body. 

Don't bite your tongue but dont be hurtful, express how you feel and maybe you'll be lucky enough to meet people who are just as open. It takes the guesswork out of an already complicated life.

XOXO

Gold Bird